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Friday, 8 January, 2010
- Rant 'o The Week: Finding ourselves online
- School News
- Featured Courses
- Essay: Social Media
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RANT 'O THE WEEK: Alas poor me. I knew me well.
We have all done it. Look up any mention of ourselves on the Web. Even if you have never published anything or run a bunch of web sites, you're there, trust me. And probably with a map to your house and an overhead photograph, if not one for your street.
Do we really care? This all reminds me of the scene in the Steve Martin movie The Jerk where Martin, a nobody farm boy discovering the big city, gets his first telephone. He eagerly leafs through the phone book and finds his name listed.
"Look," he cries. "Page 73 - Johnson, Navin R.! I'm somebody now! Millions of people look at this book every day! This is the kind of spontaneous publicity - your name in print - that makes people. I'm in print! Things are going to start happening to me now."
At least the phone book spelled his name right. I looked myself up on some of those white pages search sites. Even after weeding out the same-name but clearly different Stephen Morrills I discovered:
- I live in several states though most of me seems to reside in Florida. In several towns.
- I'm married to myself (really) and I have a bunch of relatives. (In real life I have no relatives. None. De nada. And while I love myself and live with myself I'm still single if you don't count the voices in my head.) And in our society, I suppose, if you have no relatives they will assign you some. I hope we get along.
- I'm a lawyer, a policeman, some sort of insurance person, a schoolteacher. One of me is even an FBI agent. I'm sort of a Village People band all rolled into one but without the costumes.
- I graduated from the University of Tampa. (Puzzling, until I remembered that I had once had a book published by the University of Tampa Press.) Or perhaps just living in Tampa makes you a graduate of the University of Tampa, sort of like the School of Hard Knocks. That's a little too Zen.
- I'm still the editor of KNOW Tampa Bay, a magazine that has been in its grave for fifteen years. I have edited several other magazines since then but no mention of those.
- My bio, scooped off one of the five courses I teach here for WritersCollege.com and probably very out of date.
- One quote from me in an article written by someone else. I have no recollection of who that person was or the article itself but the whole thing was linked and available. No such luck for more than a thousand articles I have written over 25 years, plus some books.
Innumerable other errors. (Well, OK, I could probably number them but I would have to count higher than I have fingers and I only graduated from the University of Tampa.) I'm surprised they don't list me as a graduate of Writers College. I hereby issue myself an honorary degree.
And several reprints of my various rants in these newsletters. Really. And you thought these rants were excess drivel, little realizing that they were being stored all over the Web by pointless busybody programs. Which is why, as they seem to glean my personal information from these rants, I wish to announce the following:
- I have Ph.D degrees from Princeton, Yale, Harvard, Oxford and Cambridge in physics, mathematics, philosophy, advanced dog grooming and aquaculture.
- I only date supermodels with the IQ of cabbages. Or is that redundant?
- While my bankers despair of me ("I can't be out of money. I still have checks left.") I have billions of dollars in offshore bank accounts.
- The Subaru in my driveway (you can see it on GoogleEarth) is only the vehicle I use to drive to my immense car park filled with Bentleys, Rolls Royces and Lamborghinis.
There. That should help. I'm in print! Things are going to start happening to me now."
SCHOOL
NEWS: Some of the things I am planning (that cursed "P" word again!) are:
Last week I wrote: "Most exciting to you, perhaps, I am considering setting up a message board system....But I could use some feedback. Would you use it?" The consensus of opinion was that this was unneeded. Yes, that's right, nobody responded. Oh well. Saves me some money anyway.
FEATURED
COURSES: (Also see our homepage for daily featured courses)
Creating History with Peggy Ullman Bell
A place for historical and fantasy novelists to acquire or polish the skills needed for the writing that comes before and between the writing. Upon completion of this course, the student will be able to identify and categorize primary, secondary and third party resources, demonstrate how those differences affect their stories, and explain why each type of resource is necessary for the creation of fictional/fantasy worlds.
Whether a novel is historical, fantasy, scifi, or contemporary, the author must live in another time while writing them. It is not enough to feel confident in your story setting. You have to live there. You have to know tiny details like what does your character have for breakfast? What is it prepared in/on? By whom? Your participation in this course will help you learn how to find out.
Dialect Writing with Patrika Vaughn
Dialect is heard with the eyes. It is one of the most contrived elements of fiction and must be handled well to avoid turning characters into superficial stereotypes. Learn ways to create dialogue that sounds real.
Dialect Writing, an 8-week class covering the principles of using dialect and includes specifics and examples of the following dialects: British, Cockney, Australian, Irish, Scottish, German, Yiddish, French and Italian. Indications of the general characteristics and mind-sets of peoples from these ethnic areas is included to help you draw believable characters.
Dialogue Writing with Patrika Vaughn
Dialogue is what makes your writing - fiction or non fiction - come alive for readers. Learn how to make dialogue work for you- to develop character, advance your plot, impart information, show conflict or tension, set the mood, and make readers part of the action.
Editing for Writers with Cindy Davis
Self-editing is probably the most difficult part of writing. Fine tuning the manuscript, seeing the flaws, imagining how the words sound to the reader, and then garnering the courage to rework them is daunting. You’ve just spent months or maybe years on this manuscript. To you it looks perfect. But the publishers and agents keep rejecting it. After a while you can’t blame them any longer. You have to face that just possibly your ‘baby’ has imperfections. That you have to tear this thing apart and maybe—gulp—start over.
If an editor or critique group member suggests you delete something, do you try and think of ways to leave it in? Do you argue your case till you turn blue?
Are you so much in love with your words that when forced to delete something, you save it in another file in case you want to use it in another book? Get over it! There will always be more words. Theoretically, as you grow as a writer, the ‘wonderful’ words you saved will look like kids’ work.
How do you get honest with yourself? How can you ferret out the problems, learn what works and what doesn’t? The first answer is time and distance. Step back from the project. Work on something else. Wait till the emotion generated by your wonderful characters and scintillating plots fade. Put the manuscript away for weeks, preferrably months.
During this class, we’ll work on toning things down, tightening things up—a diet for your manuscript.
Photography for Writers with Stephen Morrill
A how-to in making extra money as a writer by taking your own pictures—or at least finding your own pictures—to illustrate your work. Being able to take photos, or find photos, to accompany your writing can help sell the story, keep control over your work, and even earn you extra money. Photography is not rocket science, and most people already have cameras capable of taking publishable pictures. Professional-quality photos are often available free if you know where to ask. This course will discuss what editors and art directors look for in photos, how to take those photos, and how to locate photos when you can't take them.
Warning: this is not a course for professional-quality photographers; this is a very basic course for writers who want to take photos on the side to illustrate their work.
ESSAY: Social Media, clever marketing tools or giant time-suck?
by Stephen Morrill
Nothing generates buzz like the Internet's 'social media' and, for a writer seeking exposure, the question is, is the buzz about reality or only about itself. Are we accomplishing anything by webbing, blogging, Facebook-ing, and tweeting? Or is all this just a way to convince ourselves we're really busy? I think it can be either but for most of us is a bit of both. So let's take a realistic look at the choices available to us when we set out to publish online or brag online or just get the word out online.
There are currently several sorts of social media in play. Here are the main ones today. Tomorrow, who knows?...
Click here to read the full essay.
WEB LINKS:
Speaking of social media, here is shameless self-promotion. If you don't like it, send me your own best web links.
ASJA, the American Society of Journalists & Authors: National professional organization for published nonfiction writers. I edit the web site. (But there is a separate webmaster who does the technical things. I literally edit the words.) Huge site, of which you mays ee only the small 'public' part. If youhave published nonfiction articles or books, and been paid for those as a freelancer, not as a staff writer, let me know and I may be able to sponsor you for membership.
VacationFunFlorida: a travel/tourism web site run by a friebnd of mine. There is also a cheap ebook available listing free and cheap things to do in Florida. I know both the authors personally. Click here for a separate blog.
TampaBayOnTheCheap: sort of like the one above, but for just the Tampa Bay area. Updated whenever I get to it, which is supposed to be at least weekly. Click here for a separate blog. I have to go now and do the weekend events....
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